You can never tell where you’re going to meet a person who inspires you. For me, most recently, it was in the Highlands Tiny Corner Laundromat.
Now that busy little place on the corner of Huddy and Bay Avenues is always fun to visit. No matter who is working, each of the employees if friendly, helpful, in a good mood,, and takes time to be sure everybody is happy and getting their laundry in the right machines.
But this week, I met Mary Conklin.
This busy, quick moving, even quicker talking lady in her mid-60s came in lamenting she had just broken a favorite casserole dish, was late because she wanted to be sure to pick up all the pieces that had scattered all over and wanted to be sure her dog or cats didn’t cut a paw. Ah, thoughtful and a pet lover, I thought.
Her dog was in the car, she went on, because she was on her way to visit someone at Care One. It only took my agreeing that dog therapy of all kinds is a benefit to care center residents, for Mary to expound on how so many at the care center are now her friends, love the dog, and she knows they feel better about seeing and playing with the dog.
Our conversation took off from there, as Mary found an eager listener to her story of growing up in a less than perfect home, living in Keansburg and working as a barmaid in places like Bachstadts and Keelans, illnesses, bad habits, poor decisions, drugs, unhappy relationships and so much more that had all been part of her life.
It was enough to make me wonder how she could be so happy, so generous with her time, and so forgiving of some of the really dreadful things that had happened in her life. She talked about how people looked down on her because of her appearance, her tattooed arms, her way of talking. “That’s all ok,” she grinned, “doesn’t bother me a bit. They’ve got their right to their opinion. So do I.” But she did not give her opinion of those who looked down on her. She just smiled.
She talked about how deaths of loved ones, tragic scenes that will never be out of her mind, several cancers and her own treatment with cannabis oils helped cure her. She talked about going back to school and getting a degree from Rutgers in her 60s….in English Literature, no less. But she can’t decide on any favorite author. She talked about how she gathers toys for a children’s organization that helps make kids happy, and she shushed the laundromat attendant who added she helps out on meal deliveries to those in need.
She talked about visiting a friend in the nursing home or taking her out for rides watching the deer at Sandy Hook or taking her home to have a cup of tea at her table. When asked how she could keep up the busy schedule it sounds like she has, Mary shrugged and said, “it isn’t hard if you’re doing it for someone you love”
Mary moves a lot of people. She has a few who have severely wounded her, but here again, she shrugs and says, “that’s ok. That’s them. I don’t hurt anybody.”
And as for the things in her own life that don’t go right or aren’t perfect? Here again, she shrugs, laughs out loud and says, “I don’t complain. I just fix it.”
Mary Conklin taught me several lessons today. And gave me insight into why she is such a happy person.
