Guardian Angel

One thing that makes me happiest today is that I have a Guardian Angel smarter and more careful that I am.  It’s bigger than any other two or five or ten things that will also make me happy today, I’m sure.

With a long-term visual problem that makes it impossible to drive at night , I am watchful of sunrise and sunset times and check them regularly to be sure I’m not behind the wheel when there isn’t enough sun to let me see clearly.

It’s my habit to walk the  under half mile to St. Agnes Church four mornings a week, Sundays,  Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I’ve only been doing that since May and realize that as the days get shorter, I’ll either have to miss some of these masses or walk in the dark.

But this morning was the first morning since May that it has been raining before 7 a.m. At least raining hard enough that I didn’t think it wise to walk that almost half mile.

The sun rose this morning at 6:55, a minute later than yesterday, and I saw and heard the heavy rainfall.  There was too much rain, I decided, to walk, but I could drive two or three minutes before sunrise, I figured. So I did.

Concerned with the water building up along the side of the road, I didn’t give much thought to starting the car, putting on wipers and headlights, and pulling away from the curb. I was in the middle of the street when I realized in spite of the sunrise within two minutes, I simply couldn’t see clearly enough to drive. I panicked! I knew I couldn’t back up to get back to the curb, and couldn’t  stop in the middle of the street or pull to the side since it’s a narrow one way street with no parking on one side since it would block all traffic on the road.

Smart or not, full of faith or not, I made the decision to go slow and go forward, knowing I only had 2 turns to make to get to the church and into a parking area. I said a few prayers to my Guardian Angel and decided God and the Angel would protect me since I was heading to church.

It took me longer to drive to church than it does to walk! But I made it safely, encountering no other vehicles on the way.

Once inside church, I simply fell apart. Not literally, just figuratively. I don’t scare easily, and I don’t scare often, so the emotional toll it took on me when I got inside church forced to sit down in the nearest pew rather than proceed to where I usually sit. (Doesn’t everyone who goes to church on a regular basis have a “regular seat”? )

That’s when I remembered. I had just gone to the eye surgeon three days before and was diagnosed with a second visual problem, Dry Eye Syndrome. It makes everything blurry. I received an eye drop medication for that  I have to put in my eyes five times a day!  I have done it regularly for the three days as well as once this morning before leaving the house. I knew I had gotten immediate release from some of the blurriness after the first two days. But apparently, I reasoned, between my own blurriness from this added diagnosis and a heavy rainfall, I am going to be dealing with that syndrome as well as my long time visual problem.

After mass, I stayed another 15 minutes just to be sure that  I would be able to see with no problem to go the short distance back home.  Hew rain had stopped, it was certainly lighter, and I had no problem getting home.

But the experience unnerved me. Stupid of me, I thought. I should have thought to take into consideration that of course the rain being as heavy as it was would make for a duller sunrise and fuzzy windows and the added syndrome would create almost the very same conditions that prevent me from driving at night.

I was stupid, I admit it. I may have made a poor choice in deciding to forge ahead rather than block traffic on my street, I admit it.  Did it teach me a lesson? You bet it did! In addition to not driving at night, I cannot drive in heavy rain because of the addition of yet another visual problem.

Will  I try it again? Absolutely not! My Guardian Angel might be very kind, observant, and helpful, but I’m not about to press my luck. I don’t know that the Angel would be as quick to protect me a second time  once I had been warned, and without mishap,  that my vision problem impacts me in heavy rains as well as nightfall.