Amy Gill
They were known as the Fab 4, these four well-educated, fun-loving lifelong friends. Three of them always looked to the fourth, Amy Smith Gill as the team leader – the one who would set up the get-togethers, plan the birthday dinners, solve all their problems, wipe away all their tears and always be there for whatever they might need.
Amy Lynn Gill of Locust passed away January 30 after an eight-month battle with a rare form of cancer.
A memorial service will be held at Pfleger Funeral Home, Middletown on Friday, February 8, from 4 to 8 p.m. Her funeral will take place Saturday, Feb. 10 at St. Agnes Church, Atlantic Highlands. A burial will follow immediately at Bayview Cemetery in Leonardo.
This is the second in a series that is being posted this week in VeniVidiScripto featuring stories of Amy’s life and the impact she had on all who knew her, as well as the lessons they have learned from the life she led.
The three living members of the Fab Four shared their thoughts and love of Amy in the days following her death at Sloan Kettering Hospital in New York, the friends vying with each other amid tears and laughter to tell their favorite stories about a woman who has impacted so many lives in her short 49-year lifetime.
Staci Gilchrist of Atlantic Highlands has been friends with Amy since the two were classmates in kindergarten at St. Agnes School. Today, Staci, who is General Manager at The Proving Ground on Shrewsbury Avenue in Highlands, described Amy as “My Person,” the one person who was always there – no matter what. The one who has been by her side from childhood through now. The one who could be strong when needed, gentle always, but firm in her resolve to do everything right and be there for everyone.
Like Staci, Jen Kuhlman of Atlantic Highlands and Jodi Moylan of Middletown recall fondly all the “things we all did together. We were all so different,” they laughed, “it was like we had nothing in common, yet we all blended so well. And Amy was always the glue that held us together.”
The group was planning a trip to New Hope this month for Staci’s 50th, but now they will be remembering Amy at her funeral mass instead. And they’re not sure whether the three will get together for that party that Amy spearheaded. They are however planning to celebrate Amy and Jen’s 50th birthday at The Proving Ground on July 13! We will remember her and how wonderful she was and how much she is missed. Whatever we do, they agree, “it won’t be the same.”
Kelly Mendez of Middletown has been friends with Amy through those grade school days at St. Agnes as well as high school at Mater Dei. They were each a bridesmaid at the other’s wedding and today Kelly says she is the one who feels so fortunate for the friendship. She feels sorry for people who cannot have the strength and joy that comes from friendships that spring up in childhood and continue to grow through life. But Amy was even more unique, Kelly said. “She was unconditional. She set the bar for friendship.” A nurse with a degree in nursing, Kelly works for a pharmacy in Middlesex County administering nursing procedures in private homes.
Heather Stockman of Leonardo and Amy Gill have been friends since their younger days and Heather said the duo liked each other immediately and kept up that friendship from the first day they met. Heather is struck by Amy’s thoughtfulness and concern for others. Her memories are like Staci’s, in that Amy was a most unique person filled with more inner beauty and outer strength than anyone else she has met.
It was during her final days that Heather was especially impressed by her friend’s thoughtfulness. “She knew she was dying, she had some rough days, but there was the day she was alert and so aware of everything,” Heather recalled. That was the day that Amy, in her hospital bed, got on the phone and talked to her friends saying her own goodbyes in her own way. But that wasn’t enough for Amy, Heather continued, “she told me to be sure to say goodbye to everyone for her, ‘just in case I forgot anyone.’ “
Staci talked to Amy on those last days as well, and remembers Amy was unafraid facing death, explaining to her close friend she was ready for whatever was ahead of her. But it was the one time the leader of the Fab Four asked another for help. “How do I do this?” she asked her. Staci told her “I don’t know”; but she assured Amy that she would figure it out. “And we all knew she would do it, like everything else, perfectly”; her sorrowing friend explained.
They’re calling it a coincidence, but some might think it could be Amy’s doing. Heather tells a story about a homeless man that Heather’s husband John and Amy saw walking along Route 36 every day on their way to work. He always had on a ragged coat and looked like he could never get warm,” Heather said, saying how sorry Amy always felt for him. So much so, that in one of her last chats with Heather, Amy asked her to make sure he got a warm coat. “The next day I saw him,” John told Heather, ‘I saw the homeless man and he had a new coat!’
“I was so surprised but so happy! I could tell Amy I did see him, and he had on a new coat!” No one knows where he got it, or where he went, “but I was happy to be able to tell Amy he had his new coat.”
Amy is one of those rare people you meet in life that you always want to be around, all of her friends agree. As several said this week, “She was selfless, kind and genuine; she never had a negative thing to say about anyone.”
At the end of the day, we should all strive to “Be Like Amy.”
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